Choices and Path

 01:07 AM, 23/07/2024

As usual, night time is too precious to waste and I really like the calamity in spending alone time. Today's Pickleball is a lot of fun. Meet some more new people, talked, have fun - again it's still weird for me to socialized with adults. And again, as usual the question that I always get...
what are you gonna do next?

Where are you furthering your studies?
What is your interest? What you gonna studies?
Next, what is the job opportunities?

Yeah, I get it. Environmental studies in not something common like medic, engineer or architecture. Accounting and laws and all sort of that. Most of the advice I received feels like discouragement. "Think twice" they would say. I do appreciate the criticism but I'm gonna lie, it do get in my head sometimes.

Am I worthy to be interest and specialize in this kind of field? Am I confident enough? Or do I just wanna do this because I am not good in anything else? Does this profession suits me? Am I gonna do well or am I ready for this challenged?

For now, I still haven't got anything in my mind other than this. Because I do like it, I'm invested and I'm trying my best(not really) to gain as many skills and experiences that can help me in this field. I looked up to other people that are doing this for living. I'm amazed and impressed by their dedication and hard work and wish that I could be like them some day. I read as much as I can and try to broaden my knowledge. I know it maybe not be enough but it take times, a long long times.

I have to admit that I grew up in a financially stable (more than enough) family with minimal; little to no finance struggle. But does that make me really unworthy or totally unprepared for a life and jobs like this?

And to be honest, you're gonna listened to a lot of people from different career and background about don't take this or don't take that. Even sometimes in medic or engineering too. "Oh, you gonna drained out". "It's a struggle" or the "paid is not well" and a whole lot of other complains... all the time.

I guess you can work it out if you want to, and if you work hard enough and gain enough charisma, self-building in aspects of discipline, leadership and social skills. Yeah, all the criticism always got me thinking but then I thought, if I were too bothered by their words; then they are true. So what you gonna do now is do more research, find more experiences and sharing on what you wanna do so you get confident enough and have courage to do what you want to achieve. There's a millions way to lives life, millions way to be success... and our definitions of success is differed from others, so why bother so much?

Everyone experiences struggles, everyone experiences hardships, ups and downs, failures, mistakes... all of it; no ones gonna run from it. So you do you, and if it feels not enough then work hard for it. There's plenty of time. And perhaps you may not even be able to live a long life, you're probably dead before you success or even fail (ok, too far) but yeaa, you got it.

I feel like I have a lot more to say, but I already lost words.
To future me, hopefully you wouldn't give up on this dream

And also about the girl... forget it, for now.


01:35 AM, 23/07/2024

Why worry now? - Dire Straits